Precursor

Today I read an email from Neal. It said something along the lines of my precursor project being (way) too ambitious.

Well, I've never been lacking in that department...

So I went about some overdue housework to help clear my head. I find a neat, organised environment much more conducive to good work.

Once that was done I shot him back an email that outlined a new project, but also took into account where I'm coming from and where I'd like to head to. It was a lengthy email, but not extraneous. For me, it hit the nail on the head.

The tricky thing about all of this research stuff is that it is really fluid. At no point am I ever quite comfortable, which I guess is the point. I'm looking for answers to half formed questions. I'm reading stuff that points to new ideas. It's all very interesting, active and alive.

My precursor is all about the immediate, the moment, the elusive now that is so hard to realise until it is passed.

It reminds me of a phenomenological study I took part in, trying to ascertain what happens at the moment we laugh. It was easy to point out what happened either side, but the pinpoint was so fleeting it was impossible to explain.

Well, not impossible. It just took a lot of different views to pull out a common thread.

And I suppose that is what I'm after, what you're after, what all of us researchers are after. It's the thread that points to the answer, the answer we can't see yet.

It's like trying to find a strand in a spider web. You only feel it when your already entangled and the spider is crawling up your back. It's sticky and (in my arachnophobic case) terrifying, but don't you feel more alive in that moment of fear than you ever have before?

And that's just the precursor.