Sunday

I worked today, and everyone was in a foul mood, which means we all laughed at each other for being so silly. Laughing at it took all the power out of the negative emotions so we all ended up having a good day.

I have some sleep to catch up on because of my fun/work filled weekend, but also because I have a big week ahead of me. Even while I've been having a real weekend, I still managed to take care of most of the little tasks that often get in the way of writing.

Tomorrow I have class and meet Larissa directly after that. I moved my personal training session to Tuesday so I can write directly after meeting the Boss. I have a funny positivity having handed in a draft and getting decent feedback. I WANT TO DO BIG THINGS.

But i can't ignore the little ones along the way. As I do, the big thing loses its sense of joy.

This is very strange to me. I feel really happy with where I am, unlike a couple of weeks ago where I was quite worried. I'm at the point where I could actually apply for a PhD and might even be ready to do it. I've finally been enjoying the lifestyle of an academic, writing about stuff I like and missing it when I'm not doing it. Not missing it like a crutch when your ankle is still tender, or missing it like the girl you were supposed to marry but fucked it up with ambition.

Missing it like performing, like something you just should be doing without 100% knowing why, like when you get up on a nice day and smile, even though you like the rain.

Sunday is my liminal day, the day that everyone has off and I almost always work. But on days like this, work is fun, so it isn't really work.

Sunday puts it all into context. If I can sit here at my clean desk with my neat computer while a documentary plays in the background and enjoy the first-world happiness associated with writing about myself to myself, then I can't really complain. The things will happen when they do, and I won't miss out on anything as long as I'm happy with where I am at the present.

It's a nice night to sit on the balcony and breathe the air before bed. Happy Sunday.